I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
