I could have mohawked her pubes.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
