Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Randomize
