Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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