In America we eat man semen.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Randomize
