I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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