I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Randomize
