It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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