Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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