I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Randomize
