i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
