She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Never underestimate the power of titties
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
