in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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