At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
My dick has a subreddit
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
