My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
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