What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
