dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
