What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
