I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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