if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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