Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
Betty ford says i'm here all night
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
