i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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