I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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