stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
the day after is always just damage control
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
