Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Randomize
