Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
