So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
