We named our party play list daddy issues
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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