Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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