how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
