you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
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