I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
My penis needs a shock collar
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
