i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
