I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
