no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
