atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
