so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
don't judge my taste in strippers
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
