gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Someone shattered a urinal.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
