I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
