i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
We were destined to go to rehab together
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
