nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
