Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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