Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
