guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
