I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
