She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
