I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
