And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize
