There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Blow job season was short but glorious.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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