I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
