Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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