Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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